The Criminal Brilliance of Weird Al Yankovic

And my girlhood crush morphs to full-on adoration and hero worship….


So fun.

I’ve always had a thing for Weird Al Yankovic since my early teens. Eat It, I Lost on Jeopardy!, Amish Paradise and many others have been played ad nauseum out of my cassette player. (Yes I’m that old.) Well, Al is still active and, in the words of my new hero Vanessa Nadal, is “pulling a Hannukah Beyoncé” and releasing 8 videos from his soon to be released album, Mandatory Fun. Today’s release marries one of pop music’s most popular ditties and one of my biggest pet peeves–proper grammar and punctuation usage and online spelling abuse. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…Word Crimes.

(All you Twitter followers can lurk on the hashtag #8videos8days to watch more hilarity unfold.)

“Weird Al” Yankovic – Word Crimes:




Had to mark it but have absolutely no imagination after lining up Marriage Minded Monday reposts and tracking the whole season of So You Think You Can Dance. Though it’s not all original content it IS a pretty big deal, getting to 300 posts in these last 2 1/2 years of blogging. I think I’m getting my feet under me here….

Let's kick off the next round!

Let’s kick off the next round!

Tonight’s Menu–Steak or Pi?

What's cooking tonight?

What’s cooking tonight?

So, today’s March 14th and there’s a couple of different camps working today….

The Valentine’s Day cynics (read: guys) sick of the hearts and flowers and massive commercialism of the holiday figured they’d stake (no pun intended) their claim a month later with Steak and BJ Day.  Basically, it’s a matter of two parties, ahem, getting a healthy serving of hot beef.

However, the math nerds already grabbed hold of today with National Pi Day. The ubiquitous equation has been around since the fifth century, and the date itself lends more significance in this case than with the anti-Valentine’s railing.

So, while I’m sure the general male population is hoping for their just desserts today, I have the feeling that it’ll be just dessert.

Happy Pi Day!

Happy Pi Day!

Merry Mondegreens: A Host of Misheard Lyrics and Alternate Verses

It’s that time of year again, where we pull out the Christmas music, old and new, to get us in the holiday spirit. Every year artists old and new put their distinctive spin on popular holiday standards and hymns, creating the soundtrack for our parties, tree trimming and other holiday gatherings. And, like most songs, they also lend themselves to interpretation…and sometimes, MIS-interpretation. Many a song has had a mondegreen—or a misheard lyric—pop up, often with strange and amusing outcomes.

For instance, depending on who’s singing the tune, there are TEN reindeer named in the classic “Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer,” and apparently she’s a mean little bugger:

    “…OLIVE, the other reindeer,
    Used to laugh and call him names…..”
Now does she look like she would hurt a fly?

Now does she look like she would hurt a fly?

One of the more chuckleworthy I’ve heard came from an old Three’s Company episode. Suzanne Somers’ “less than bright” Chrissy Snow sang this little ditty:

Even funnier was Joyce DeWitt’s Janet correcting her with the proper verse, “Let nothing you dismay,” which prompted Chrissy to respond, “Oh, I’m not sad….”

Now what would Christmas be without a little Christmas Snow?

Now what would Christmas be without a little Christmas Snow?

Speaking of classic TV, move over Charlie. You can have your angels the other 11 months of the year, but December belongs to Harold:

    “Hark! The HAROLD angels sing…..”
Charlie vs. Harold--who's the bigger boss?

Charlie vs. Harold–who’s the bigger boss?

Language barriers can bring about some fun, too, especially when you try to figure out how, outside of the Nativity scene, you can bring sheep into the fun of Christmas:

    “FLEECE Navidad”
Hopefully more "Fleece Navidad" than "Baa Humbug"....

Hopefully more “Fleece Navidad” than “Baa Humbug”….

While we’re discussing animals and Christmas, those darn Chipmunks had me confused for years:

    “We can hardly STAND AWAY,
    Please Christmas, don’t DELAY…..


(Though I have to admit, I wanted that hula hoop, too…..)


And let’s not forget the merry band of misheard oddities in “Winter Wonderland“. I mean, if we’re in the meadow building snowmen, I imagine we have to be looking at a large, vast field of white fluffy snow:

    “In the meadow we can build a snowman,
    We can say that he is SPARSE AND BROWN”

Of course, once we figure out it’s PARSON BROWN, the true lyric “married” makes more sense…because I always wondered how you could be doing all these fun winter activities and not be happy:

    “He’ll say are you MERRY, we’ll say ‘No, man’….”


Of course, that’s not even the STRANGE part of the song. Later versions have the second verse pretending the snowman is a circus clown, and while I can understand a bunch of rambunctious youngsters knocking it over, I still haven’t figured out where the alligators come in:

    “In the meadow, we can build a snowman,
    We’ll pretend that he’s a circus clown,
    We’ll have lots of fun with Mr. Snowman
Guess alligators like winter fun, too.....

Guess alligators like winter fun, too…..

But even more interesting than mishearing the lyrics are the changing lyrics. “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” is not that bad—I only have to figure out if “you can count on me” or “you can plan on me.” (Sounds like the same thing to me, but who am I to stomp on someone else’s vocal interpretation?) But the most schizophrenic song of the holiday season has got to be “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas.” I do know that the original version was part of the movie Meet Me In St. Louis with Judy Garland, and those lyrics probably best fit with the storyline as well.

    “Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
    Let your heart be light,
    Next year, all our troubles will be out of sight.
    Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
    Make the Yuletide gay,
    Next year, all our troubles will be miles away….
    Here we are as in olden days…happy golden days of yore
    Faithful friends that are dear to us gather near to us once more.
    Through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow
    Until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow…
    And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.”


Sounds fine to me, but I’m guessing some deeply devout Christian singer decided it was not cheery or “seasonally accurate” enough, so the verse changed a little:

    “Through the years we all will be together,
    If the fates allow,
    And have yourself a merry little Christmas now….”


Some more Fundamentalist type won’t even give the illusion that they buy into chance and mythology, singing “if THE LORD allows.” Which is true, but was it deep enough to change a song lyric that was already cozy and welcoming? Plus, who decided that “next year, all our troubles….” Had to be “from now on our troubles….”? Alright, I SUPPOSE “next year” sounds a little defeatist, as if you’re dwelling on a miserable Christmas. I guess that one’s OK….

Ah well, impressions and interpretations aside, I’m sure you can all agree that whatever you hear (or mishear), it’s bound to create a Merry Christmas.

Now bring us some friggin’ pudding……


Related links:
Kiss This Guy: The Archive of Misheard Lyrics:–The Red and the Mondegreen:

The Data Lounge: Misheard Lyrics from Christmas Songs:,9962703

Straight Dope Message Board: Christmas Lyrics You Misheard as a Kid:

The Musings of David Amulet — Misheard Lyrics, Christmas Edition (a little on the adult side): – Misheard or Misunderstood Christmas Carol or Holiday Song Lyrics

Bits and Pieces — Misheard Christmas Lyrics:

Also check these books out:
Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly: And Other Misheard Christmas Lyrics
Olive, the Other Reindeer

Love Among The Ruins, or “Take that, Mayans!”

"Now that all that silly apocalypse business is out of the way..."

“Now that all that silly apocalypse business is out of the way…”

Just a quick shout-out and congratulations to my blog sister from another Mister, the one and only Girl on the Contrary, who is becoming Mrs. Captain Thoughtful today. Go swing by and wish them well.

Those Mayans are missing one hell of a party….

Hope Grammy's having a blast, too....

Hope Grammy’s having a blast, too….

Also not to be missed:

Belize Weddings – 2012 Maya Ruins Wedding Photography:

“I DO” Belize Weddings Blog:

Jared Wilson Photography:

Excuse me…is this thing on?

Happy 12/12/12!

Happy 12/12/12!

I couldn’t help myself….LOL

Let A Smile Be Your Umbrella–Just Don’t Poke Yourself In The Eye With It

So I went reading my blogfriends’ posts and came across this post from my Contrary sister from another mister about yet another interesting day in the life. Bemused, I felt compelled to comfort my sister princess in her hour of dismay:

Perhaps your smile brightened his day….unless he was implying that your teeth were yellow.

Hmmm….the genteel Southern lady in me will not allow for no greeting, and a smile qualifies as such. I shall have to come up with a chart for the proper smile wattage and correspondence panic reaction to given responses. You have given me a good idea there, Girl…..

Now pass those cookies…..

After imparting that royal bit of smartassery, I come across this bit of wisdom from a friend’s FB devotional:

Micah 6:8

New International Version (NIV)

8 He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly[a] with your God.

Great. Thanks, universe, for making me take this seriously.

I’m generally polite to people and employ either the smile or the head nod, because as I said–my Southern breeding won’t allow for anything less. And yet this current climate of being trusting and friendly could get you conned and/or ripped off….which leaves one being torn between being warm and cordial and being cautiously guarded against any and everyone. I mean, I’m an equal opportunity profiler–when it comes to my purse or my person, you could be an 82-year old blue-haired granny with a walker and one leg…I’m grabbing my purse tighter and giving you the side eye until I get safely to where I’m going. But couldn’t everyone use a little bright spot in their lives as well? Sometimes a gesture, a kind word, even a smile can go a long way to brightening a dark day.

*sigh* I guess I’ll continue to lean on my Southern Belle Home Training Kit. I just hope there’s no Thin Mint crumbs in my teeth.

Dude, Stop Being So Literal!

To all my friends in the online ether, I’ll see you on the other side of this thing. Don’t worry–soon we’ll be making another run.

–from Come Aboard…We’re Expecting You…

So this drunk buzzard meandered all up and down the Gulf Coast slow as molasses and left most of us without power for several days and flooded a lot of others. NOW I’m hearing that the system has somehow drifted BACK into the Gulf of Mexico, with the potential to become Nadine if it develops into a named storm. Really, mayn?!? I mean, I do have a generator now AND most of the bad food’s been cleaned out of my fridges, but I’mma need you to take your shore leave elsewhere. And if you DARE fiddle with my next two weeks of So You Think You Can Dance, I’m comin’ outside with a leaf blower and blasting you out of my city myself.

Not today, sister…..


Nadine Ellis image courtesy
Nadine the Mermaid photo courtesy of

Come Aboard…We’re Expecting You…..


So…I find myself, seven years later, riding out another storm before my birthday.  True, it’s not currently projected to be as bad as That Heffa That Shall Not Be Named, but it’s troubling nonetheless.  I’m riding it out at home with the hubby and expecting to be without power for a little while but otherwise be slightly inconvenienced but OK.  To all my friends in the online ether, I’ll see you on the other side of this thing.  Don’t worry–soon we’ll be making another run.

Planking, move over……

….I think we have a new fad coming.

(This post may well be Girl on the Contrary or Speaker7 worthy….I aspire to greatness.)

It all started when my friend Theresa posted this Facebook status:

Now, being in a cupcake mood at that moment, I could relate, and immediately started drooling and dreaming of all of my area cupcake haunts and how much I DID NOT NEED a cupcake. But just under her status is a comment from her son Nicholas. Now, he’s a good kid, so I know the comment was in jest, but it’s all the more funny because of the following factors: a) Theresa is a teacher and also coaches Nicholas in acting and voice (hence, diction and proper grammar are familiar subjects); b) Theresa and Nicholas maintain the mother-son hierarchy while at the same time enjoy an incredibly humorous back-and-forth; c) Nicholas, for all his good qualities, is a smartypants teenager. Nicholas’s response, and Theresa’s reply:

Now I’m really amused, but I figure it’s my turn to jump in, if only to school young Master Nicholas about arguing with a woman about dessert:

Then, completely out of left field, Theresa’s friend Sarah comes up with a response that I hadn’t even considered…which got me to thinking, and not in a good way:

I mean, can you imagine? Yet another “performance art” type stunt where people pose in crazy positions in crazy locations? Mind-boggling. But still funny.

As I’m posting, I made an uncanny observation about Facebook’s monitoring my conversational bent…

…ummmmm, a little TOO Big Brother for me. At this point, Sarah comes back with an even more frightening suggestion:

I had to shudder. There are enough online examples of DWI (Dressing Without Instructions) without people purposely wearing too-small shirts to expose that nasty, flabby piece of skin and fat hanging over their waistbands. Now I have no problem with a healthy, non-model thin body or a little bit of a pouch—but I do believe in dressing appropriately for your body. I know MY belly is not coming out from under a midriff until I am comfortable that I am not offending the general public. The least the general public can do is afford me the same courtesy.

The mere fact that Theresa’s one short declaration inspired such a hilarious and ridiculous thread tickled me to the point that I had to share with the rest of the world.

Of course, Facebook had to have the last say on our conversation….

*sigh* Now I wanna cupcake……

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