Somehow, I have found a series that writes itself….
This, dear readers, is another case for the “Seriously?” files. Apparently, there is no shortage of these headlines, so it’s good to know I have a consistent stream of fodder for blog posts.
I was watching football on Sunday with my husband and spied a player, following a touchdown, do a dance that looked like he was having a mild seizure–causing me to ask, “What in the ham fat is he doing?”
“Oh, that? He’s doing the Bernie.”
“As in ‘Weekend at…?'”
“Yeah. I’m surprised you haven’t seen it before. In fact, this high school soccer team just got suspended from their season for doing it.”
“For doing THAT?!? What I just saw on the screen?”
Three guesses as to what my next word was….
The whole excessive celebration penalty perplexes me anyway–I do understand putting a time limit on things and even nipping mean-spirited actions in the bud. But that’s the NFL. These are high school kids who were punished for an action that was…wait for it…inappropriate and lewd. Let me understand this: The Bernie is performed by bending backwards at the waist and shaking in a manner to resemble a movie zombie…and this celebration merits the label “inappropriate and lewd.” Maybe if the boys had run out on the field butt nekkid and done it, but from the picture I’m looking at, this group of boys is wearing baggy shirts and long, baggy shorts. But that’s not even the tip of the dumbassery iceberg. This dimwitted official decided that appropriate punishment for bending backward and shaking in front of the opposing team is CANCELLING THE REST OF THE SEASON–INCLUDING KILLING AN EXCELLENT CHANCE AT REACHING THE PLAYOFFS.
Over a dance.
I wonder what this nimrod’s punishment is for less heinous offenses, like bullying, cheating or sexual harassment…..