Stop Being Married Children! | Black and Married With – A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

Too true….worth a read.

Stop Being Married Children! | Black and Married With – A Positive Image of Marriage and Family.

The Slippers, The Sandwich and The Six-Minute Marriage

Read this Freshly Pressed blog from The Understander, and was mildly disappointed. Not because of the content–it was a well-written and engaging piece. The problem is that not too long before I found it, I read this blog from ramblingsandrumblings following the divorce announcement from Kim Kardashian. One of the best takes on the situation I’ve read–and believe me, I have largely ignored the entire media circus concerning the engagement, wedding, etc. of young Kim. So when I saw the title of The Understander’s piece, it brought the Kardashian Khaos to mind. My sense of dejection at the realization that it was really only about the psychology of slippers cannot be put into words.

Addressing the primary motivators for slipper wearing that The Understander puts forth as I applied them to the Kardashian Khaos (a trip into my thought processes you may or may not want to take—proceed with caution), here’s my take on things:

Temperature control is an important factor here—the slipper, especially the fleece-lined booties or cozy rubber-treaded socks, provide toasty warmth to cold-natured feet. Likewise, the climate of public attention has to be just right for a stunt or event to achieve maximum coverage and saturation. As a result one can look at this whole media circus as a bid for buzz—good or bad, the temperature of the audience is the driving force behind keeping your visibility, or “staying hot.”

Floor Protection
Where I live, there are more and more people who feel that the slipper has become footwear for the public eye–an action that would be unheard of with people of my parents’ and grandparents’ generations. Slippers outside of the home would be the height of immodesty. Yet I have seen many a soul wearing classic mule slides and even plush cartoon character inspired booties out in public as if they were actually shoes. I’m sure you could find a whole slew of Homer Simpson clad feet on

There was also no expense spared for the sake of high fashion. One particularly well-known brand of shippers is Daniel Green—a staple in any black household as both footwear and childhood disciplinary tool. Anyone could get the $3 fuzzy terrycloth jobs, but THESE were top of the line as far as slippers went and in a wide array of styles, colors and heel heights. Many attempted to fancy them up further by putting taps on the soles, which is where I assume someone got the mistaken notion that this action turned these slippers into outdoor footwear. Anyone seen outside of their homes in a pair of Daniel Green slippers to do more than fetch the mail, newspaper or trash can from the curb was seen as uncouth and tacky (read: ghetto) and were silently clucked at by those watching them ruin their “house shoes.” And of course, they were then verbally chastised for “tracking dirt in the house” and foolishly wearing their slippers out in the dirty unknown in the first place.

So if you think about it, had Kim K. refrained from metaphorically wearing her slippers in public for the sake of fashion, there might be a little less dirt and sludge tracked into her home right now.

The slipper is designed to make the wearer and his feet feel good—from warmth to cleanliness to just feeling stylish—and at such makes the wearer both physically and culturally comfortable. For the participants, the large amounts of attention make them feel more secure about their popularity and social standing. This also works for the watchers as well—more often than not, being in the know and up to date with the latest happenings gives that “catbird’s seat” feeling, and with The Event being one of the more talked about media events of the year, the ability to chat about it with an air of expertise equals a certain smugness that makes people feel at ease.

As stated earlier, one has the responsibility of protecting one’s feet from the elements; likewise, there are some feet in the world that one should be responsible for protecting the elements from them. Those who have chosen the spotlight as a career move feel almost a duty to provide the public with something to look at or talk about that involves them and their antics.

I began to think of those slippers–typically house shoes, content to stay inside to be used conservatively and judiciously, having no need to air its business “out in the street.” Not a very flashy, attention-grabbing shoe at all….but it certainly performs its given tasks with [pride and dignity]. Putting on an air of class to distract from the spectacle of events is a frequent tactic employed by those who use attention (particularly outlandish, over-the-top antics) to propel and keep their names and images in the public consciousness.

Wearing a certain type or brand of slipper for status (or even wearing them for an extended period of time to break a world’s record) is an attention-focused activity; some way to stand out and be recognized as a unique and special individual worthy of notice.
Clearly, all of these over-the-top stunts are way outside the realm of “respectable ways of becoming famous”–focusing more on broadcasting the wedding for profit than the solemnity and sacredness of the ceremony and resulting commitment, and then tossing that commitment away in less than three months.

I realize that I put WAY too much thought into that (and time—I think I started this piece at least a month ago), and in doing so I’m probably providing more fodder for the water cooler. At least writing this has been therapeutic in replacing some of the darker Daniel Green flashbacks of my youth…and possibly provided a chuckle or two…..?

Ah, form over function....lessons to be learned, kiddies....

The Man You Fell In Love With | Black and Married With – A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

The Man You Fell In Love With | Black and Married With – A Positive Image of Marriage and Family.

Do You Defend Your Spouse In Public? | Black and Married With – A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

Do You Defend Your Spouse In Public? | Black and Married With – A Positive Image of Marriage and Family.

25 Things You Didn’t Know About ‘Beauty and the Beast’ – The Moviefone Blog

If you’ve been traipsing through my little playground here, you’ve probably found out about my deep love and admiration for Belle of Beauty and the Beast fame. So you will understand that THIS absolutely had to be reposted here (For the record, I DID at least know 6 of these beforehand). Happy reading!

25 Things You Didn’t Know About ‘Beauty and the Beast’ – The Moviefone Blog.

The smartest of them all.....

When A Couple Is In Trouble, What Do You Do? | Black and Married With – A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

When A Couple Is In Trouble, What Do You Do? | Black and Married With – A Positive Image of Marriage and Family.

Next year, she’s buying dinner and flowers first….

Soooooooo…..had my first mammogram today.

I’ve heard the rumors about it being like slamming your boob between the lip of the toilet bowl and the seat. Yeah, it was worse. Good thing I wasn’t on my period and am kinda into S&M, ’cause that wasn’t cute. It’s not enough to put a floral Band-Aid pastie (complete with this weird metal nipple thingie) on me and put my breast JUST SO on the glass to squeeze it between two glass plates–there’s a HAND CRANK to squeeze it even tighter. AND I’m not supposed to move. So I’m standing there for what feels like a full minute with my breast squeezed tighter than Roseanne Barr’s ass in a pair of size 6 jeans, listening to this machine hum and beep while I just stand there praying for this to be done. Naturally, I have this open-faced robe on–which I was given the “courtesy” of a curtain to change behind. Defeating the purpose, much? I stand behind a curtain to change into something you’re gonna open up anyway. :-/

That nurse thinks I’m kidding, but there had better be at least a Croissan’wich and an iris blossom waiting for me next year.

Can I at least get a glass of wine first? Some conversation? A few flowers, maybe?

Marriage Is For Grown Folks! | B Intentional, LLC

Another interesting read…finding a lot of these lately….

Marriage Is For Grown Folks! | B Intentional, LLC.

The Nice Guys Strike Back

The hubby found this traipsing through Craigslist the other day….have no idea who wrote it, but I had to share. Whoever you are, I apologize for all the girls who can’t get it together and figure out what they really want and what’s best for them. I hope you eventually found a good one.

*Reader discretion advised*

“What Happened to All the Nice Guys?”

Date: 2007-11-19, 3:52AM PST


I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I’d take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven’t figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He’d tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn’t feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were “just friends.” Besides, he totally wasn’t your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn’t know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren’t the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you’re single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, “What happened to all the nice guys?”

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive “just-a-” friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren’t really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you’re upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he’d have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he’s probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I’m sorry that it took the complete absence of “nice guys” in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you’re looking for a nice guy, here’s what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what’s right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don’t really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you’ve fucked yourself over. You’re getting older, after all. It’s time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn’t want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn’t fucking want you, now.


A Recovering Nice Guy

8 Grammar Rules You Should’ve Learned Long Before High School Graduation | Aiming Low

I simply had to repost this–not only because LMM re-tweeted, but because it irks me to no end….

8 Grammar Rules You Should’ve Learned Long Before High School Graduation | Aiming Low.

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